Temperature

While I wish I were shakin' it to the above-mentioned Sean Paul classic on some tropical island where everyone looks like Rihanna and pina coladas flow from the faucets, I'm unfortunately referring to my fever. Kaiser assured me that the flu only afflicts old people and babies, so I skipped the vaccination and ended up couch-bound this weekend. That means in addition to that non-Reggaetone-related temperature, I've had chills and a rash, and have been subjected to a THREE DAY America's Next Top Model marathon on MTV. I will most likely submit myself to science if I survive this illness so that my brain can be studied and analyzed after such prolonged exposure to Tyra. I couldn't handle staring at models anymore, so I changed the channel and somehow ended up on this very special episode of the Tyra Banks Show devoted to...body image! At this point, the remote is too far for me to remedy the situation, so look for the American Psychological Association's detailed manifesto on me next month.